Hard Graft

This week, via the media, I have learnt the properties of an excellent spruce tree, required to make a resonant violin and how to graft apple trees to grow delicious apples.

To make a great violin you need dry wood from a delicious Spruce tree. So cut it down during the Autumn when it's driest and at full moon, because it will draw all the sap up the tree... Or down the tree. And be sure not to let the wood get knotted. Because that sounds bad.

To get any kind of apple, just cut a lil' slice of the branch of the kind you want and pop it in an apple tree. Hey Presto, you're growing your favourite apple. The man on the television had a tree with about 30 varieties growing. That sounds good.